You come home after a long, tiring workday. You are tired, maybe tense, and you want to rest. But as soon as you walk in, it starts: your housemates grumble, complain, and speak hard words. They talk negatively about everything that goes wrong. About other people. Maybe even about you. There is little thankfulness, little encouragement, little love.
Or you come home to a different atmosphere. People truly ask how your day was. They speak in a happy way. They encourage you. They speak good words. There is joy, rest, and warmth.
How do you want to come home? I think we all want the second situation: a place where positive words are spoken.
What the Bible says about our words
The Bible says a lot about our words. It is special that with the same tongue we can build people up, encourage them, and bless them. But we can also hurt, criticize, and break down.
Our words are not neutral. They do something.
Even in normal life we can already see that words have great power. A compliment can make someone’s day. A hard remark can hurt someone deeply. But our words do not only work on a human level. They also have spiritual influence.
Think about how you came to faith. That happened because you believed the gospel in your heart and confessed it with your mouth. “For with the heart one believes unto righteousness, and with the mouth confession is made unto salvation.” (Romans 10:10, NKJV)
Here we already see it: faith and words work together.
And in Proverbs it even says: “Death and life are in the power of the tongue, And those who love it will eat its fruit.” (Proverbs 18:21, NKJV)
Our words can bring life, but they can also cause damage.
Speaking well, also about other people
Now let us look at how we speak about other people. It is easy to be positive when someone is good to you. But what if someone hurts you? What if someone is unfair? What if someone disappoints you? Then we sometimes think: “But I have the right to be angry, right? I can say what I think, right?”
Still, the Bible calls us to something higher: “not returning evil for evil or reviling for reviling,” “but on the contrary blessing, knowing that you were called to this, that you may inherit a blessing.” (1 Peter 3:9, NKJV)
Peter says something special here: when people treat us wrongly, we should not speak badly about them, not insult them, and not make them look black, but bless them.
That goes against our feelings. But it brings freedom.
Why is this so important? Why is it so powerful to not speak evil about others, but instead bless?
1) You break a bad circle
When you pay back evil with evil, a circle starts that can go on and on. Someone hurts you → you react in anger → the other reacts again → you get even more angry. In this way bitterness can last for years.
But when you choose not to join that, and you choose to speak good words, you break that circle. Then freedom comes. For you, and sometimes also for the other person.
2) You protect your own heart
Speaking in a negative way makes your heart dirty. When you keep complaining, gossiping, or speaking in anger about others, your heart slowly becomes hard. Unforgiveness eats your energy. It steals your peace. It harms your joy.
You may think you protect yourself, but you are hurting yourself. When you bless, you keep your heart soft.
3) You reap what you sow
The Bible often speaks about sowing and reaping. “He who sows iniquity will reap sorrow, And the rod of his anger will fail.” (Proverbs 22:8, NKJV)
When you sow negative words, you often receive negativity back. Not because God wants to punish you, but because words can open doors in the spiritual world. Good words open good doors. Evil words open wrong doors.
A guard for your lips
That is why it is so important to have a “guard for your lips.” Not everything you think must be said right away. Not every emotion must be spoken out loud right away. Sometimes it is wise to be quiet for a moment, and to think about what you will say.
Before you say something, you can ask yourself: Does this build up? Does this bring peace? Does this honor God? If the answer is “no,” then it is better to stay silent.
Let us grow in this together
This is not an easy lesson. I also still need to grow in this. We can all learn every day from God’s Word. God gave His commands, wisdom, and advice not to limit us, but to protect us and bless us.
When we learn to not speak evil about others, but to bless them, we will notice that our life becomes lighter, freer, and more joyful.